Time's a tickin'

     Well, it's been a while, but finals are out of the way, school is done for the present, and I'm at home trying to make a bunch of decisions about the future.  I thought once I was done with school, I would be able to relax and enjoy my time at home while I collected things for my RA job next year.  Now I have a ton of new things on my mind.  The most pressing is that I just found out (today) that I need a work permit to go down to Trinidad.  Not sure why I didn't know before, but God does.  His spirit is one of the only calming things to me right now.  I know that God is good. I believe it wholeheartedly. 

     Sometimes I think that we take life too seriously.  Why don't we all just make decisions that make us happy, as long as they're God-glorifying and they don't hurt anyone?  I wonder... is it our fear of life that keeps us from happiness? Do we let fear control most (if not all) our decisions?  In the Bible, the most frequent command given by God is, "fear not."  Obviously He knew that even today fear would be ever-present in our decisions...in our lives.  It is NOT God's wish for us to be controlled by fear.  In fact, the Enemy must celebrate every time one of his victims makes a fear-based decision. 

   My most recent prayer is that I would no longer be subject to fear; that I would be able to find courage in the Spirit to rise above my fear...and live.  I want a life full of happiness and adventure and love and....not fear.  I'm tired of being afraid.  Often, I'm afraid to even make one decision.  That shouldn't be.  I have the freedom in Christ to make a decision without fear, because I know that if I mess up, His grace will cover me.....always!  That should be the least fearful thing. 

     I love God and I know that He will use me for His will.  I trust Him.  Now, I need to stop wasting time being afraid of life, afraid of decisions and of their outcomes.  We all need to accept the grace that has already been granted to us. 

    I'm so excited to see where God will have me in one year and what I will have learned in that time. I won't lie.  I am scared.  But I am going to make conscious choices to no longer let fear dictate my decisions. It will be a battle, and I know sometimes I'll be on the loosing side, but I know God's love and His forgiveness and His grace will be there.... He is a steadfast God and I can rely on Him. 

    So Lord, help me, help us all, to no longer live in fear, but to live in your grace. Amen.